911 Call: Mom Didn’t Want Autistic Kids

911 Call: Mom Didn’t Want Autistic Kids

Wow. This is just so hard to believe.

I have a 2-1/2 year old with autism, and it has changed my life completely. It is also one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with - even harder than losing my father at 18.

But no matter how difficult things get - I can always trust God - and know that there is a plan for everything.
It brings tears to my eyes to think of ever harming my baby girl. She is my world - and has taught me more life lessons than I could ever learn on my own. She continues to teach me lessons - and to turn to God.

I just had to share this - because I know that it is so hard to raise these children - but there is always hope! Always! Never a reason to give up on our kids.

Saying prayers that someone is looking after these babies in Heaven.

Are we there yet?

Doesn't it always feel like we are moving toward some kind of goal - or aspiration in life? (Well - I do - and if I didn't - I would probably be bored to death).

And in that movement - it seems like life can bring us things that change our goals - our aspirations - and our values in life.

If I looked at the picture of my life now - 5 years ago (or even 2 years ago) - I think I would have fallen out of whatever chair I might have been sitting in.

A life that used to be filled with worrying about how much I was going to sell each month - how much commission was in each deal - my things - my car - going out and partying until sun-up on the weekends....who I would go with and where....

But really it all felt difficult and stressful at the time. For real?? Yes - for real. But when you are in your own life and in your own head - doesn't it always feel like you are in the most stressful situation possible??

I feel like I am learning a new way to live my life - and it feels a lot better.

Maybe it has something to do with being "in my 30's" - and more settled - or maybe it has to do with the ability - and constant need to surrender. To understand that there are things - people - places - attitudes - laws - and most of all - circumstances that I have no control over.

Life is a lot better that way - for me.

Yet I am still feeling like - "When is Alexis going to get better?" - "How many more trips do we have to take?" - "Is she ever going to talk?" - and "What about me? Will I have a career again?.....do I want one?? ;)"
It just feels like I am always going somewhere or doing something for her - or for the betterment of "the familiy".

Who ever thought that I would have my own "family" ?

Making money - Partying - drinking - and forgetting my name and address frequently was really all I cared about. What was the goal or aspiration there?

So I really have no idea of what the point of this blog is - and I know it is all over the place.......but even though life is hectic - the future is unknown for Alexis - we just completed our 3rd trip to Jacksonvile for medical care - and we have another one on the 25th (of this month....urgh...) - I am more at peace than I have ever been.

I love my crazy princess - my sweet dog - and Matt - and even myself - more than I ever thought I could.
I am just so thankful for all of the friends I have that have stuck with me - through my insanity - and continue to stick with me.

Are we there yet? Maybe we will never get there......but I am going to try like hell - wherever I am going.

Goodnight!